


Once I Was Seven Years Old

by darkpanda22



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Emotions and Stuff, Fic named after the song, Fluff, Implied Gavin Free/Michael Jones, Implied Miles Luna/Kerry Shawcross, Inspired by Music, Joel and Ray have music class together, Joel plays guitar, M/M, Music, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Past Violence, Ray and Joel both sing, Ray is kinda ooc but whatever, Ray plays the piano
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:16:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6994729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkpanda22/pseuds/darkpanda22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is something I started and finished today after I've been listening to this song on repeat. 7 years by Lukas Graham is sooooo good man. But yes this is basically a college thing where their Music final is to write a song about life. The song Ray sings is 7 years and the song Joel sings is Wake Me Up by Avicii. This is mainly Joelay but the other couples are heavily implied. Hope you enjoy~! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once I Was Seven Years Old

 

 

~-~

 

 

Ray frowned as he sat in his college dorm, drumming away with his pencil as he tried to find a beat to write a song too. It was a part of his music class and it was his final but the teacher was kind and gave them the assignment at the start of the semester so they’d have enough time to make it right and make it special. He doubted anyone would wait until the last minute with such a sweet teacher they had. She had even said that if we wanted to that at music night the night after the last day for finals we could perform our song there for extra credit. They did have a stipulation though. It had to be about life. She said it didn’t have to be about your life but it could be about life in general. Ray was still at a loss of what to even write about. It was easier to just do his own life so after that declaration he’d been trying to find a beat to write too instead of the other way around.

 

 

After a couple hours of various failed beats tapped out on the table one of his roommates finally shuffles in and gives him a confused look. “X-Ray what are you doing?”

 

 

Ray looked up from the empty paper at his roommate and frowned. “I have a final to work on for music and we have write a song about life. I’m trying to find a beat to write to. Gavin, help meeeee.” Ray all but whined and Gavin laughed before flopping down on Ray’s bed.

 

 

“Why don’t you just write and find a beat later? Or do you even know what you’re going to write about?”

 

 

Ray sighed “I know it’ll be about my life, it’s just easier to do that way but I don’t really know where to start.”

 

 

“Well just think back to what affected you the most over your life and write about that.”

 

 

Ray blinked and looked up at Gavin “Vav, are you okay?”

 

 

Gavin looked at him weirdly “Yeah, why?”

 

 

“Cause you actually said something smart, holy sh*t!”

 

 

Gavin squawked, punching Ray hard in the shoulder as he walked out of Ray’s room grumbling something about ‘trying to be helpful’ and ‘not helping dicks ever again’. Ray snickered to himself before he looked down at the blank paper and sighed. ‘Maybe tomorrow.’ He thought as he stood up and made his way to his last class of the day. As he walked to his class, he took Gavin’s advice and thought back to his childhood.

 

 

It wasn’t the worst but it wasn’t the best either. He was a naturally quiet person, even when he was little, so the kids all found him weird and he ended up alone most days with no one to even sit near him. It was horrible when he made it to middle school. The kids bullied him for not talking other than to answer the teachers or apologize for bumping into to someone (who had obviously shoved Ray with their shoulder but made it feel like it was his fault every time). He tried to be popular too. Following the trends of drugs and alcohol but he could never really stomach the cigarettes or the nasty taste of beer. He was alone for most of his life until he met Michael and Gavin in High school. They’d been a godsend, really. His best friends to this day who also go to the same college as him and share the dorm with him and another really close friend by the name of Kerry. His thoughts were put on pause as he made it to his class and took a seat, getting out all his material for his Spanish class. He was Puerto Rican but he couldn’t speak a lick of Spanish, coining the phrase ‘I’m shockingly Caucasian.’ That he used on a regular basis with his four friends. The Spanish teacher walked in and started greeting people in Spanish and Ray sighed. This class was gonna be long.

 

 

~-~

 

 

It was almost dinner time by the time he got out of class so he went back to the dorm, warming himself up some leftover pizza from the day before and grabbing a coke. With his acquired food he made his way back to his desk were that blank sheet of paper in his notebook taunted him and his keyboard rested on the ground by the desk. Ray let his thoughts drift back to his thoughts from earlier as he ate his pizza. Being lonely seemed to be the theme of Ray’s life. Whether it was in friends before and in a lover now, and his future was always so hazy and unfocused. Would he find the world as cruel as he thought it was at eleven years old? Crying in the bathroom after some kid beat him so bad that his lip had split opened and it hurt to breathe. Would he be lonely then too? Michael and Gavin had been dating since junior year of high school and Kerry was dating a nice guy by the name of Miles that he brought around sometimes. But here Ray was, lonely and a third wheel wherever he went. Without thinking, Ray grabbed the notebook and wrote out _‘Soon I'll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold, Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me? Soon I'll be sixty years old.’_ Staring at it for a moment he frowned writing something else under it _‘It was a big, big, world, but we thought we were bigger. Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker. By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor. Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure.’_ Sighing he set his pencil down and looked at the clock seeing the blinding red lights read ’11:30pm’ and he blinked, unaware he’d been thinking for that long so he stood from his desk and stretched, noting how quiet the dorm was, meaning Kerry was probably out with Miles or his other three roommates were already asleep. So he sighed and fell face first into his bed.

 

 

Sleep came quickly for Ray and he didn’t move until his alarm went off at 8 o clock the next morning. With a tired groan he sat up and got ready for his music class. He was kind of excited to go to class. There was this really handsome student that Ray didn’t have to courage to talk too and he was quiet like him but he seemed to attract all the girls attention in the class. Ray could see why though, the man was absolutely beautiful with that messy bed head and strong jaw line. So Ray loved to watch him from afar. He couldn’t wait to hear his final song. Butterflies were released within him whenever he thought about it and he’d have a giddy feeling wash over him at the thought of _Joel_   _Heyman_ singing his heart out.

 

 

Ray carried his notebook with him just in case he’d get some inspiration from somewhere. On his way to class he noticed Michael was just about to leave and grinned. “Heading to class too?”

 

 

Michael just groaned, sleep still evident in his voice. “Yeah. How the f*ck do you wake up so happy in the f*cking morning like what the hell Ray?”

 

 

Ray laughed and shrugged, not wanted to tell him about Joel because who knows if Joel even knows who Ray is. Ray doubted the man even knew he existed, honestly. “You just need some coffee, Michael. Then you’ll be awake.”

 

 

Michael frowned but nodded and the two made their way to class together, parting ways when Michael got to his hall on the left. “Have fun making notes and sh*t!”

 

 

Ray laughed as he turned back and said “I will! Have fun crunching numbers, man!”

 

 

And that just earned him a groan and a loud “You know I f*cking won’t!” From down the hall as Michael turned into his classroom and disappeared. Ray smiled to himself and he shuffled up to the next hall and turned to the right walking into his music class with a small smile as he took his seat. Their lovely teacher greeted him with a smile and a wave like she normally did before Ray pulled out his notebook and stared at it for a moment.

 

 

His thoughts went back to when he was in middle school again but he thought about the thing that kept him alive and well. He wrote so many poems and little songs to help him cope with his life in shambles. And before he knew it someone was tapping him on the shoulder and he blinked, looking up at the one and only Joel Heyman with a look of…concern? “Uh- A-are you okay?”

 

 

Ray blinked again in confusion but this time he felt the tears roll down his cheeks and gasped, hurriedly wiping them away. “A-ah Yes, t-thank you. I was think about my final.” Ray wasn’t sure why he was telling Joel that but his mouth was moving on it’s own and it was like his brain had disconnected from it for a while.

 

 

Joel frowned at him “Are you sure? You looked really sad so I uh- I just wanted- to know if you were okay.” And then he did the unthinkable. Joel Heyman blushed. _JOEL F*CKING HEYMAN BLUSHED._ BECAUSE OF RAY. Maybe…But Ray was still about to faint. This wasn’t real life. He’s going to wake up any minute now to his actual alarm and get dressed for class but that never happened. “I uh- yeah- yeah. I’m okay. My song just might be a little sad that’s all..” Ray chuckled nervously.

 

 

Joel was still looking at him with a mixture of concern and curiosity. “Okay..well I look forward to hearing the final product.”

 

 

Ray smiled, his heart sputtering in his chest. He was excited to hear Ray sing his song? Ray _almost_ squealed out loud. “Thank you. Same to you.” And before they could continue talking, their teacher gently asked everyone to go back to their seats so she could start the lesson.

 

 

~-~

 

 

It went on like this for the rest of the semester. Ray would carry is notebook around everywhere filling up the pages with scribbles of words or ideas whenever he got some inspiration. Michael, Gavin and Kerry started teasing Ray about Joel after he came back from class that first time he talked to him and just about squealed into his pillow from happiness. Joel continued to talk to Ray before music class and Ray just about had a heart attack the second time Joel started a casual conversation with him. He got used to Joel talking to him soon enough and Ray could say that the two of them were friends, having traded numbers (Ray almost fainted again.) and hung out at each other’s dorms after class sometimes. Ray never let anyone open his notebook though. He never let anyone hear the soft tune he’d come up with and on the last few pages of his thoroughly marked up notebook he wrote the song he was going to sing for the finals fast approaching. Ray was nervous to say the least. His song started off kinda sad but he thought it just got more inspirational as it went on. He never wanted to make a sob story about his life filled with some many different forms of loneliness and pain so he was proud of what he had written. He started going to the roof to practice, taking his keyboard and his notebook just in case. The finals week started in almost two weeks so Ray mused that he’d finished right on time. He knew Joel had finished his song already but he told the man he wanted to be surprised on the day of finals. So they didn’t share anything about their project with the other and Ray was giddy. Part of Ray wished Joel could write a song about him, because he sure as hell had a few about Joel…not that he’d ever tell him about it though. Getting closer to Joel only made Ray realize that it wasn’t a crush he had on the older man but it was actual love and it kinda scared Ray how he fell so hard without knowing he was in so deep. They spent the last two weeks before the finals together, whether it was studying or just hanging out.

 

 

And then the time came. Ray woke early that morning before his alarm could sound in his excitement and nervousness. He took a shower and pulled out some more dressy clothes, for him at least, a pair of jeans and his tuxedo t-shirt. He let out a sigh as he grabbed his notebook and his keyboard before making his way to class early. He could feel his stomach curling in on itself in his nervousness but he took a deep breath as he stepped into his classroom. There were a few other students there early, setting up their instruments and such so Ray did the same. Taking out the stand for his keyboard out of the closet he started setting it up. He placed the keyboard on top just as a hand landed heavily on his shoulder and with it came a voice Ray could never get tired of listening too.

 

 

“You ready?”

 

 

Ray sighed “I dunno. I’m nervous.”

 

 

Joel sent him a reassuring smile “You don’t have a reason to worry, Ray. I’m like 104% sure your song will be great and everything will go fine.”

 

 

Ray nodded, hugging Joel, who grinned so wide at the gesture but quickly hid his huge smile after Ray pulled back with a quiet mumble of “Thanks, Joel.” But then the teacher walked in and it was time to start. They took their seats, and their teacher let whoever wanted to go, go and it went like that until it was only Joel and Ray left. Joel smiled over at him and stood, knowing the younger wanted to go last. He grabbed his black acoustic guitar and sat on the stool provided in the front of the class. Ray glance around at his classmates and he could see most of the girls were just about frothing at the mouth in their excitement that Joel was going to sing and a pang of anger fell over him before he looked back at Joel and found that he was smiling at him, and only him. He returned the smile, anger seeping away in just one look as Joel started talking. “So uh- I named this Wake Me Up and it’s based off of personal feelings…so uh- here goes.” He trailed off before positioning his guitar and started to strum an upbeat tune.

 

 

_Feeling my way through the darkness_

_Guided by a beating heart_

_I can't tell where the journey will end_

_But I know where to start_

 

_They tell me I'm too young to understand_

_They say I'm caught up in a dream_

_Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes_

_Well that's fine by me_

 

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

 

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

 

_I tried carrying the weight of the world_

_But I only have two hands_

_Hope I get the chance to travel the world_

_But I don't have any plans_

 

_Wish that I could stay forever this young_

_Not afraid to close my eyes_

_Life's a game made for everyone_

_And love is the prize_

 

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

 

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

 

_Didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know (didn't know, didn't know)_

 

 

And the whole class stood to their feet and cheered and Ray couldn’t help but feel proud of the love of his life. Ray could see was thankful for the attention but still very humble about it and it just made Joel look even more beautiful to Ray. Joel smiled wide at him and gave him a thumbs up as he made his way back to his seat and Ray took another deep breath. He stood and made his way to the front, sliding his keyboard stand over to the stool and taking a seat. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair nervously. “Ah okay w-well I named this ‘7 years’ and it’s about my life. I’m a little nervous so bear with me please…” The class laughed a bit at that, giving him reassuring words but Joel’s yell of “You got this, Ray!” in that bright, excited tone eased his nerves quite a bit. So he started the melody he knew by heart, letting his eyes slip closed as thought back to being on the roof, just him and his music.

 

 

_Once I was seven years old, my mama told me,_

_"Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely."_

_Once I was seven years old_

 

_It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger_

_Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker_

_By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor_

_Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure_

 

 

Gasps from his audience went unheard, as Ray continued his song with his eyes shut and his brows furrowed in sadness.

 

 

_Once I was eleven years old, my daddy told me,_

_"Go get yourself a wife or you'll be lonely."_

_Once I was eleven years old_

 

_I always had that dream, like my daddy before me_

_So I started writing songs, I started writing stories_

_Something about that glory just always seemed to bore me_

_'Cause only those I really love will ever really know me_

 

_Once I was twenty years old, my story got told_

_Before the morning sun, when life was lonely_

_Once I was twenty years old_

 

_I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure_

_'Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major_

_I got my boys with me, at least those in favor_

_And if we don't meet before I leave, I hope I'll see you later_

 

 

A smile slipped on Ray’s face at the mention of his boys before he belted out the next line.

 

_Once I was twenty years old, my story got told_

_I was writing about everything I saw before me_

_Once I was twenty years old_

 

 

Slowing down again, he sung the next parts softly.

 

 

_Soon we'll be thirty years old, our songs have been sold_

_We've traveled around the world and we're still roaming_

_Soon we'll be thirty years old_

 

_I'm still learning about life_

_My man brought children for me_

_So I can sing them all my songs_

_And I can tell them stories_

_Most of my boys are with me_

_Some are still out seeking glory_

_And some I had to leave behind_

_My brother, I'm still sorry_

 

 

The next verse started out just as slow, building up with each line and Ray’s smooth voice rising in intensity with each line, his brows furrowed more than before at the mention of his father.

 

 

_Soon I'll be sixty years old, my daddy got sixty-one_

_Remember life, and then your life becomes a better one_

_I made a man so happy when I wrote a letter once_

_I hope my children come and visit once or twice a month_

 

_Soon I'll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold_

_Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me?_

_Soon I'll be sixty years old_

 

 

He put all his heart into the words, the intensity of his voice bringing a wave of goosebumps other the room.

 

 

_Soon I'll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold_

_Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me?_

_Soon I'll be sixty years old_

 

 

Then, the song slowed down again and Ray almost looked like he was going to cry as he finished the song.

 

 

_Once I was seven years old, my mama told me,_

_"Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely."_

_Once I was seven years old_

 

_Once I was seven years old…_

 

And as the last note played, one tear rolled down his face and that seemed pull the audience out of their stupor as they immediately started cheering and screaming and Ray blinked his eyes opened and looked up startled as if he’d been asleep to whole time. But then he saw their faces. Most people were crying with him but the looks they held of the weird emotion you get when you’ve just heard something that was so sad but inspiring at the same time. It was a mixture of happiness, proudness and almost a nostalgic sad feeling. And then he saw Joel. He was crying too, tear strikes running down his face but a smile so proud and a look so full of love it made Ray’s heart swell as he smiled at him. Their teacher congratulated them all and told them scores would be in by the day after music night. She dismissed them after that, reminding them about music night and extra credit once more before Ray found himself surrounded by Joel’s arms and he blushed as he buried his head into Joel’s chest. “You did so good, Ray. That song was so beautiful.”

 

 

Ray blushed deeper at the praise and mumbled a soft “Thanks, Joel.” Into his chest making Joel grin widely.

 

 

“Hey, let’s go to the roof.” Ray looked up at him with a raised brow before he shrugged, not really having anything to do until the next evening (His last final, praise Jesus). He grabbed his keyboard and Joel grabbed his guitar and the two made their way up to the roof of the dorms. The sun was high in the sky when they made it up to the roof and Ray smiled as he set his keyboard down and sat next to it, Joel doing the same with his guitar. They sat in silence for a bit before Joel turned to Ray. “Hey I’m uh- I’m a little curious about your song..”

 

 

Ray blinked and looked up at Joel, tilting his head to the side a bit. “What were you curious about?”

 

 

Joel frowned “I uh- just wanted to know the story behind it? If uh- If you don’t mind talking about it that is-“

 

 

Ray smiled sadly and laid a hand on Joel’s hand patting it as he said “I guess I’ll start from the beginning. Lonely is the theme of my life. I’ve always been quiet and people are cruel to quiet people. Seven years old I had no friends, no one to talk too, and no one to even sit near me. Eleven years old I tried to be popular, doing what most of the other kids were doing in hopes that maybe someone would be my friend but they just used me. I tried cigarettes and alcohol at their expense and even after all of that they’d beat me every day. Useless, Stupid, Waste of air, and Retarded were some of the most common words and slurs as they beat my face in. I figured out I was gay after my dad continuously started talking about a day when I’d get a wife. It didn’t excite me to have family with a woman and after I got a crush on one of the boys in my class I knew I wouldn’t want to marry a girl. I got beat worse after they found my staring at the boy and realized I was gay. I got used to it, the violence, I mean. My parents could never really do anything because the boys were supposedly ‘angels who wouldn’t hurt a fly’ and I was apparently ‘the weird quiet kid who needed counselling’. So I was stuck there, dealing with it with my parents. It got to the point where I started to believe them..”

 

 

Ray paused, wiping away tears he hadn’t known were falling as Joel intertwined their fingers together and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I started writing poems and songs to cope with the emotional pain I was feeling. Then I came to high school and I met Michael and Gavin. They brought me out of the hole I’d been thrown in and even though I still had panic attacks sometimes during school, they’d always be there to help me get through it and to tell me it was okay. They are the best friends I never thought I’d get and I appreciate them so much. I wasn’t so lonely anymore and that made me happy. Then they got together junior year of high school and I was so so happy for them. It was nice and I never felt like a third wheel until we came to college. They’re two of my three roommates so they started to spend more time with each other when they had classes instead of hanging out with me and I understood. I became friends with my other roommate thinking maybe I wouldn’t be a third wheel around him but I found out that he had a boyfriend too. I was always the third wheel and they didn’t seem to understand that it really sucked watching them be happy together when I was so lonely myself. But then I meet you…” Ray trailed off and looked up at Joel with a small genuine smile. Joel blinked before he was smiling back at Ray was soft smile. “You helped me so much. I enjoy every minute with you Joel and along the way I think I fell for you.”

 

 

Joel’s eyes widened comically and Ray would’ve laughed in any other situation. But then Joel leaned forward and pulled Ray into his chest as he wrapped his arms around him. Ray held his breath as he waited for Joel’s response. “Ray…You’ve helped me more than you even know. I was bullied when I was younger for my peculiar behavior and crushes on boys instead of girls. My dad wasn’t around when I was younger and later I found out that he passed away when I was really little so I got bullied and beaten for that too. My mom couldn’t do much either and I learned to play guitar to cope with the physical and mental abuse. High school was even worst until I met Geoff and Jack my junior year. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, we’ve both been lonely and beaten but we lived to see another day. I’m so happy I walked up to you that day before class. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. So, Ray?”  Ray leaned back to look up at Joel, who continued when he had Ray’s attention. “I just wanted to know if you’d like to be my boyfriend?”

 

 

This time it was Ray turn for his eyes to bulge out and Joel smiled widely at him before he was being tackled into another hug from a giggling, crying Ray. “Yes, Joel! Yes!” Joel grinned widely down at his boyfriend. _His boyfriend_ , Joel liked the sound of that.

 

 

And as they laid on the roof that evening, they shared stories and songs. Promises of performing at music night were shared and they parted just as the sun went down with plans to meet after finals the next day. And when Ray stole the show at music night, then you couldn’t blame Joel for kissing him right there on stage as their peers and friends cheered them on.

 

 

~-~

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to let me know how I did. Comments and Kudos are much appreciated!


End file.
